Can't stop playing with photoshop, but I should be marking ...

So this is my story:

Twelve months ago I separated from my husband and three months ago I switched supervisors and started a new phase of my PhD research in a new lab.

My PhD supervisor at the time had little to no understanding about my reasons for doing so.

I believe that in time, the truth of the situation will reveal itself. Either way, I needed a rest from insecure men that enjoyed making women cry.

But what happened today? My ex-supervisor called my new supervisor and claimed that he just found out that I had transfered. He was angry and negative about me and towards my new supervisor. This has left me very stressed and recalling all the reasons that I left his lab in the first place.

I don't know what compelled my old supervisor to call my new supervisor today and have a tirade, but I do know that my old supervisor couldn't seriously have thought that I was still in his lab. I haven't been in his lab for months. I haven't done any work in his lab. I also haven't spoken with him. Since the first week of march. That's two months.

The Dean of Graduate Studies assured me and my new supervisor that all of the details, including the issue of telling my old boss about my transfer, had already been taken care of by him. I have already set up my experiments and have begun working in my new lab. My new supervisor has been signing forms as my supervisor.

All I know is that I finally got home, and instead of marking 100 formal labs and assignments from the second year cell biology course I am teaching which are due in five days, I decided to make art in photoshop. I know, I am new. My novice is undeniable, but today when I saw the outcome of my art I new I had to share it. I can see the happiness and peacefulness settling into my soul. I am happier now than I was a year ago, even two months ago.

It takes a lot of training and intelligence to become a good scientist, but it takes a really special person to become a good supervisor. They must inspire, motivate, manage and organize. My new supervisor has been fantastic, and he is also the program director. He is similar to my Master's thesis supervisor. Both of these people were good leaders and fantastic at earning and keeping respect.

I asked to myself today, what dark part of myself was drawn to my ex-husband and my ex-supervisor who are so full of anger, blame, arrogance and abuse? I have decided that a few years ago when these people came into my life, I must have been in a scared, insecure place and I viewed their darkness as power. I mistook their intimidation for intelligence and their sarcasm for humor. I was not myself back then because I was not a happy person, and not secure enough to admit that I deserved better people in my life. Now that I've gone to that place in myself, I don't ever want to go back. I care about myself too much to let my self esteem take anymore thrashings from insecure men.

So with that, I hope that you enjoy my happy picture post today. I have come through one dark period of my life and am finally enjoying and appreciating the happiness that I had taken for granted in my youth.