I used to like to fix things. It was because I always picked people, items and situations that were filled with problems. I would always tell myself that had “lots of potential”. I noticed this theme throughout my life, like many women, and it occurred most often in the men I chose. I used to pick the most hopeless fixer-upers. The truth was that these guys I wanted to fix would actually have
fatal flaws. Flaws that any person with a good head on their shoulders would recognize as more work than any reasonable person has to give. Fatal because the amount of work that was required would kill any reasonable person before anything was ever “fixed”.
I have since learned from my foolish behavior. I have learned that my need to fix things is a flaw in itself. I learned it from my mother. Just so you all know, I didn’t need to fix people and things because I wanted everyone around me to change to suit my needs (although I am certain that people out there think this is why women do this), I did this because I didn’t think I was good enough to wait for the best. I have realized that I deserve to wait for the best (the best for me). I don’t need to settle for a second-rate relationship and then spend all of my mental energy trying to improve that relationship until I am physically and emotionally drained wondering what’s wrong with me? I do not constantly need to question what is wrong with my efforts to make things work. I do not need to settle on the discount items at the store and then curse them every time they break or can’t do the job I thought they were intended for. Instead I should save my money to buy the best car, clothes and other items I need so that I ensure my satisfaction with their longevity and happiness with their performance. I have done the same with my friends and lovers. I no longer settle on relationships where I am expected to put in more effort than the other person. I no longer settle for relationships where I come second or where the other person is not everything that I require for happiness. I deserve to laugh, to be treated with respect and I don’t have to fix anybody, if a person is not good enough for me then I don’t really want to know him or her. Period.
I have since learned from my foolish behavior. I have learned that my need to fix things is a flaw in itself. I learned it from my mother. Just so you all know, I didn’t need to fix people and things because I wanted everyone around me to change to suit my needs (although I am certain that people out there think this is why women do this), I did this because I didn’t think I was good enough to wait for the best. I have realized that I deserve to wait for the best (the best for me). I don’t need to settle for a second-rate relationship and then spend all of my mental energy trying to improve that relationship until I am physically and emotionally drained wondering what’s wrong with me? I do not constantly need to question what is wrong with my efforts to make things work. I do not need to settle on the discount items at the store and then curse them every time they break or can’t do the job I thought they were intended for. Instead I should save my money to buy the best car, clothes and other items I need so that I ensure my satisfaction with their longevity and happiness with their performance. I have done the same with my friends and lovers. I no longer settle on relationships where I am expected to put in more effort than the other person. I no longer settle for relationships where I come second or where the other person is not everything that I require for happiness. I deserve to laugh, to be treated with respect and I don’t have to fix anybody, if a person is not good enough for me then I don’t really want to know him or her. Period.
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