Why scientists should spend more time trying to communicate with everyone else on the planet: Article 3

Read Article 1 and Article 2 learn more about why scientists should spend more time trying to communicate with everyone else on the planet.

Today I am a scientist that needs to spend more time communicating with the rest of the world. I spent the day in front of an instrument (HPLC-MS/MS, for those of you who might care to know) and then I came home in a strange mood. We (my lab-mate and I) made a massive breakthrough in our method development today and for me this was some of the biggest news I've had in weeks.

The problem is I can't even share my day with my partner. I got home today, told him about my breakthrough in the lab, and I just don't think he understood it's importance to me. No matter how I describe what I do, it just sounds boring to other people. Then I thought about it and realized that everyone has difficulty understanding the highs and lows of other people's career choices.

I mean, no one else will really find what you do at work interesting - the gossip and office politics is only interesting to the other people at your work who share your work environment. No-one really wants to talk about the details of delivering mail, programming software, data-entry or experimental conditions that will mean the next breakthrough in cancer research. Not in any detail, anyway.

Have you ever been telling someone about what you do for a living (I mean they asked and you figured they were interested so you decided to tell them!) and then about 30 seconds into your description you can see the look of panic and then boredom that passes over their eyes as they realize that they didn't really want to know what you do and now they are committed to spend a few moments of their lives listening to you tell them about something they'll never need to think about again?

I used to dread seeing that expression when I met people. I wanted to make friends and somehow the conversation always went bad when I mentioned that I was the girl at the party pursuing her graduate degree in science. Everyone would leave immediately and then find the fun girls who decided to go into psychology or marketing and never really considered a serious degree beyond their undergraduate degree and their eventual marriage. For those girls their degrees were just a way to kill time while they were still young and to meet great guys in engineering and business, maybe even pre-law or pre-med.

For a few years I didn't let anyone know that I was the girl that liked school, or could possibly be good at it. I certainly did't let anyone know that I was a scientist. When people asked I said I was a student and gave a non-commital answer like "biology" or "I study the environment" so that I would sound like a girl with a cause (all the good men want a woman with values, right?) Don't worry, I wasn't really worried about getting any men - or women for that matter, I honestly did this to avoid the look of terror and causing an uncomfortable hush when I would meet new people. I could make new friends and maintain conversations at parties.

Now, I have decided on a new approach. Perhaps it is age (my peers are older and so am I) but I don't bother with the hiding any longer. Instead I deflect. It works great. For example: "hi bobbiedawn, nice to meet you. So, what do you do?" I simply say: "I am a scientist. What do you do?" When I get an answer I latch on to it, try to imagine what that person experiences most and ask. For instance, the other day I met a prison guard. She had mastered this technique. She was out for a drink with her boyfriend at a local club and was enjoying the music. We were talking and then when occupation came up she said "I am a Jail Guard, shhhhhhh!" while placing a finger over her lips to illustrate some sort of embarrassment. Then she asked me about my PhD and how that was. I understood immediately.

This woman, obviously fun, could see the possible stigma her career could create and did not want to get into it. I had been there before so I just let her know that I didn't see a reason to let that stop the conversation and we continued to talk for several minutes about the music and our jobs. We had a great conversation.

So, to get back to my point, it may be hard to discuss career fairly with people. You cannot imagine how hard another person's job may be, whether it is physically, mentally or emotionally draining. It will also be difficult to imagine what constitutes a good day or a bad day for another person. Ultimately, mastering effective communication can help us to feel less alienated from the ones we love and others around us and the more you show people you are interested in them, the more open they will be to you.

By the way, I think it has been too long since I posted on science - look for something fun by friday!

BD